New hopes, new dreams, new internal screams
A new year, shifting gears, here we go again, trying to make sense of the moving trains
No comparison, no resemblance, just one day after another, trying to do best for self without letting social media affect my progress
Weary mind,
Teary eyes,
What is this world where everyone cries?
Trying to find my craft
In this dim-lit path
That has been left for me
In the cultural aftermath
Some say love is one,
Love is blind, how love is so kind.
But what about those who say:
Love is pain, to love is shame, as it only leaves you feeling disdained.
When I walk on the road, I see a lovely garden on my left and intricate houses and fancy mansions to my right
I feel as though I’m stuck, between the perpetual; nature vs man
and as to which of these stand, in their absolute might, you know, in their own respective lifespan
my walk is not just an aimless walk, because I do have a destination in my mind, that is, to reach the subway train station in time
what else do I see?
well, there’s flies, there’s garbage, there’s cars running, there’s a little bit of their mileage
people walking, just like me, some listening to music, some talking on the phone,
some even looking at me, with a flat emotion resembling a tone that stands alone
when I walk on the road, there’s a cool breeze that envelopes me, might even call it a tease
its somewhat in contrast
to the warm wind that slaps my face
as soon as I reach the train station
after my walk of chase
such is the nature of reflections
making you feel a range of emotions
on the simple walk that you take
towards the subway train station
how is it
that the person who gives you the most, takes away even more, unknowingly, unflinchingly
how is it
that in the starting few months of your love story, you love ever so deeply but still stay insecure and fragile
how is it
that your most alone moments after a fight or an argument are spent in isolation but still surrounded by the glimpses of the ‘other’
how is it
that sometimes we want to stop fighting but our body physically makes it impossible for us to do so
how is it
that we feel so much for our relationships and our familial issues and yet don’t care enough for all the wrongdoings going on in our country
how is it
that we are built this way? to care so much and yet not at all
and why is it
that to awaken our sense of nationalism, I am writing a poem that begins with love and relationships merely to get everyone’s attention
quietly, stealthily
I walk
trying to not be noticed
by the owners of this property
I don’t know
how I came to enter this place
but now that I’m here
I never want to leave this space
it’s so beautiful
white like the cocaine
as far as the eyes can see
I’m so glad, that the gates were opened, to this monumental grace
while I stood in my waiting line
waiting to be entered, into my hellish state
I should forget about that, now
that’s past me
I’ve to just try
at my own steady pace
to move around this serene solace
that the guards fondly called paradise
quietly, stealthily
I walk
trying to not be noticed
by the owners of this property
I don’t know
how I came to enter this place
but now that I’m here
I never want to leave this space
© Lishaka Gulati
never won
never lost
just never tried
kept still
never moved
scared
of free will
eyes shut
heart closed
turned away
from everything that grows
never cared
never shared
oh, so much despair
never won
never lost
just never tried
© Lishaka Gulati
there are these boundaries that I see and they somehow seem to constrict me
I don’t remember creating them, but they now, somehow, engulf me
there are these boundaries that I feel
that seem to have a strange power over me
they tell me, what is right and what is wrong, and that if I do something beyond
I will risk experiencing failure and my self-esteem will falter even greater
there are these boundaries that I see and they seem to have an unusual control over me
it is so hard for me, to even breathe, when these boundaries keep on smothering me
there are these boundaries, that I want to break, but I am so scared, as now they have placed these tiny pieces of glass on the boundary wall
as a means, to try to keep me enclosed, within the designated space
there are these boundaries, that seem to keep me, so walled off and so closed off
they have now become so rigid, so restrictive, thus making it so difficult for me, to escape them or get rid of
© Lishaka Gulati
P.S. this piece was written a few months back
from that day to this
the girl has been dealing with an emptiness inside
the occasional mood swings, frequent crying
and those other things alike
the kid finally opened up to her family
told them of her suffering and the agony
she also informed them of the chest pains
that had started troubling her lately
the family supported the kid
and assisted her in getting the treatment
that was requisite for her, even though a little inconvenient
now the kid has been diagnosed
with anxiety and depression
so suddenly the kid has a word
that is within her comprehension
© Lishaka Gulati
P.S. this piece was written a few months back
there once was a kid so lost
that she didn’t know what to do from one step to the next, no matter what the cost
don’t get me wrong, the kid had a wonderful family, who tried to motivate her at every step of the way
still, the kid felt lost and sad, inside her little heart but she didn’t want to bother anyone and seem apart
the kid wondered how to make sense of it all,
and in so, the kid started doing all those activities notoriously possible at school
eventually, getting the title of the coolest kid in class
but the kid still felt empty and in contrast
she then focused on her academics
and scored the best grades, inspite of her insides
being at times, in hysterics
she made her parents proud
but it still didn’t fill the kid’s hollow heart that stood unbowed
To be contd…
© Lishaka Gulati
P.S. this piece was written a few months back
so fearful, so much angst
everyday alive, thinking, what’s the point
let’s not be disappointed, disillusioned
in a sad state of mind
instead, let’s think about the profusion, boundless
that this universe offers to us
we’re well, we’re alive and we’re here
you and I
if this is not magic, what is?
© Lishaka Gulatil
captive, caged, chained
elephants, expected to entertain
not just elephants
there are animals, many
who are engaged for human entertainment
at the cost, of their grave endangerment
clicking a selfie
with the caged animals
do you think that’s cute
were you not made aware
of their horrific abuse
from elephants to tigers
pangolins to turtles
all classified as species, endangered
illegal trade, illicit trafficking
for personal, profitable gains
all leading to these species, pained
© Lishaka Gulati
The above poem is written in support of the global campaign initiated by the NGO, World Animal Protection, India to gain support worldwide for banning the trade of wild animals.
Poetry by Lishaka 